Motivation

My mental "after" picture.

One week after we set up the group of us, I looked at the motivational collage I made and placed on my bathroom window.  I saw strong, fit and active women.  Encouraging phrases and notes and my derby name, Hella Paiño, emblazoned through the middle.  I can close my eyes and see myself as one of them.  Covered with tattoos and beautiful.  I made this collage a couple months ago and have continued to gain weight.  Then the realization dawned on me... Visualizing what you'd like to accomplish is very encouraging but it's nothing without some follow through.  That day I went to the gym on lunch and did some leg work, that I happily was in pain for the next day.  This was last week.

Since then I've kept reminding myself why I am doing this.  It's not terribly noble, but I want to look and feel beautiful.  I want to be the woman I know I am inside.  The athlete.  The hard worker.  The cute flirt.  The daredevil.  The sexpot.  The supermom.  I intend to be a woman I would be proud to know.  I will be the woman I am proud to be.

So until then, I work.  Every time I exercise, push away from the table before my plate is clean or say no to a soda, I am putting a penny in the bank of my tiger dress.  A penny isn't much on it's own but couple that with another and another and soon I will be able to show off that body I have been daydreaming about for so long.